"Dealing" with Parents

photo by Mom's Clean Air Force

Spencer's section on Parents this week reminded me of a situation I was in recently.

We have one girl in our class who has repeatedly not turned in math homework. When I went to talk with her about it, she told me that she does her homework but fogets to to put it in her backpack. I was skeptical if this was really the case but she is a very bright girl and always does well on her math work in class. So I told her to put it in her backpack right when she finishes it, that way she will not forget it. We also informed her mom of her missing assignments and she told us she would work on helping her daughter stay organized.

Fast forward a few weeks and we have seen some improvement, but still many missing assignments. I am constantly reminding her to bring her math homework, but there is only so much I can do. I started to get really frustrated with the mom. Obviously this girl needs a little help with organization. Yes, it is partially her responsibility to turn in her homework, but in 3rd grade I believe it is also a parent's responsibility to help their children develop good habits. Doesn't she care about her child's education?

Then I met up with one of my friends last week for coffee. I was telling her about my difficulties with my student not turning in her homework and she confessed to me that they recently had a similar problem with their son. They currently have 5 children with another one on the way. She has been sick the whole first trimester with the baby and her husband is a firefighter with obviously very long and stressful shifts. I know them both to be wonderful parents who are totally committed to their family and to their children's education. It was eye-opening to hear about a similar situation from a parent's point of view. All of a sudden I felt ashamed of the way I had judged my student's mom. I have no idea what is going on in her life right now or what she might be dealing with. Without any background knowledge I had come to the conclusion that she didn't care about her daughter's education and that was completely unfair.

Parents are one of our biggest assests as teachers. Who else knows our students in the way that they do? We need to stop seeing them as a hinderance and start to see them for the assests that they are. It is not always easy, I will be the first to admit, but they ultimately want the best for their children, the same as us.